Last October I managed to complete a sprint triathlon, a big accomplishment for me. This time last year I had never taken a swimming lesson or ridden a bike, I weighed 247 pounds and I couldn’t run a full city block without getting breathless.  At the time of the race I was 207 lbs and managed to complete the Sprint, my times sucked, but I finished.

I kept at the training with less intensity for another couple months but the pool we had used was unheated and an injury I had sustained two weeks before the race needed healing and some long term medical issues resurfaced which threw my finances into complete disarray so I had to stop the chiro care and couldn’t sign up for a race and I had two more deaths of people close to me which triggered some demotivating depression…and…and..and…..

Bottom line is I started freely spinning my excuse wheel. Stuff happens to everyone, some good, some bad; usually it becomes good or bad by whatever we choose to label it.  I just chose to suddenly call my circumstances bad and use life as an excuse to quit doing what made me feel healthier and happier; I pretty much quit entirely all my “try”athlete adventures. Simultaneously I started eating food I know doesn’t benefit my system, at times that truly were bad for me, in amounts guaranteed to make me ill and fat, and to complete my downhill slide I pretty much quit regular meditation in the mornings.

So here I am today. I am back up to 220 or thereabouts, if I weigh less it is only because I have lost muscle mass. My finances are still in horrible shape and I don’t have a complete plan on how to fix them so definitely do not have money for a trainer anymore or Backfit appointments (the chiropractic office whose massages and adjustments took my pain down form a constant 5 or more to sometimes gone), and I don’t have the money to sign up for any races. I could remain in the place where my excuse wheel is spinning freely in all the things I don’t have, can’t do, etc. or I could use Spring as a motivation to do what works.

So

I got up this morning and went for a run. I am restarting a beginner program for the swimming, biking and running and using My Fitness Pal to track my nutrition and calories.

Discipline does not require any resources I do not already have within me and I know from experience discipline (like all muscles) gets stronger with use!

Fear of failure, pain, and well, looking stupid, didn’t stop me last year and its not going to stop me this year either.

Even if its just a one person timed event by a friend or maybe a family thing with my sons and DIL, I will complete a my size “trY”athlon in 2012. I will swim 10 laps, bike 10 miles and run a 5k, together, at the same time. That’s me goal.

And now I have a concrete goal, I will actually start training. Let me rephrase that, I started training.

That is where I failed myself before, once I finished the race meeting my current goal, I left the next goal too nebulous and soon it was easy to ignore. Most things in my life are like that. Stay tuned for some ramblings on how I hope to fix the other broken places in my life.

So this SOFT athlete is back at it again.

Namaste my friends, and lets all keep moving….