Christopher Robin and I walked along
Under branches lit up by the moon
Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore
As our days disappeared all too soon……..

I am admittedly having a hard time tonight. Two women I love dearly are facing a challenge that I would gladly take away from them, I am much better with my own illness, indignities and eventual demise (yes, we do all die eventually, even you).

I am sad, and angry, and sad. I am bargaining. “Hey God, look, if you were planning on giving me another remission can I trade it in instead for a clean bill of health for my friend?”

“Look, I will give all my legos to the poor and never buy another puppet or Build-a-Bear if she can just get better, and also if I can know what to say, what to do so she will call me or text me when its 3 AM and reality sets in, because I will listen, let them both know I will listen.”

“Hey God, Goddess,  whatever you want me to call you,  cuz what I want to call you right now makes me sound like a petulant 13 year old; let me know when to deflect and when to help defer; help me know when to entertain, and when to just be there. Cuz I know what it has been like to do so much of this alone, let them both be smarter than me and let them ask for help before their ass is actually falling off,  let them reach out just when its just getting loose.”

“Divine universe I have so much to pay forward, and so much still undone, my prayer tonight is to make them better and to make me useful.”

Blessed Be.

………………….cuz I’ve wandered much further today than I should

And I can’t seem to find my way back to the wood

So help me if you can, I’ve got to get
Back ………