And of course I have seen sunny days that I thought would never end; I worked outdoor booths for Phoenix Comicon last week-end.

And it was a Dicken’s of a time for me, you know the best and worst of times. Our challenge from Matt Solberg and Joe Boudrie, the Geek Overlords, was to make this year’s programming just 10% better than last year.

I won’t know for sure until the surveys are all in and tabulated but I think we achieved success. Outdoor programming rocked it!

I had the best staff a coordinator could wish for, all were new to volunteering for PHXComicon, and most had not met each other before helping with this event, Matt was just recruited to our team at a meeting this spring. Amie, Ann, Denise, Matt and I developed a familial camaraderie that I already miss. I cannot wait to work with them again. I was pleased as punch to be CC’d on a letter to overlords Matt and Joe detailing what a great time volunteer Matt had.

From Build a Bear employees to MGA Superheroes, from Paleontologists from the Mesa Museum of Natural History to AZ SciFest volunteers to teenage Robotics teams and the US Army dragster, the booth guests for the most part were enormously fun, kind, and all around incredible to work with us on all our changes and rules while still providing a little bit more for attendees (Nestle being an even more glaring exception for its inability to follow rules)

I need to do my own evaluation of what worked, didn’t work, etc and I need to send that up the my own chain of command So tho enable next years coordinator to learn from my experience, an advantage I did not have.

The Synergy Art Project got a few takers (but that is another blog)

And I got to hug some of my favorite authors, who still actually remember me even though they are now famous

..that and finding this incredible new author whose book “Revision” is a MUST READ

And having two extremely special guests show up at our Archie panel

So Comicon was the best of times….

The worst is all personal and is as minor as two broken teeth, a direct supervisor whose communication style meshes with mine like cold molasses does with peanut butter, and sudddenly having to foot the whole hotel bill and then as major as learning my foster mom, another strong woman I love, is diagnosed with cancer, even as I and a whole army of family and friends have say Good-bye to Mary. No more fatigue, or vomiting or bleeding for her, I envy her that, even as I cry for her absence.

My new normal is a far cry from 18 months ago in strength and endurance but I am stable and moving forward again even as new parts of me seem to want to fall apart. I cannot explain how strongly I wish I could trade places with my friends, I would gladly give them my life if they could get better. The first time I tried to make that bargain with God I was a teenager and the woman dying of cancer was my mother. But it didn’t work then and I don’t get to pick now. As friends who deserve it more falter and exit this life, I just seem to get better yet again.

I gave up asking why a long time ago, its a question that leads no where, instead I am asking myself how I can best use this newest lease. That is how it feels, like I am renting life on these short term leases that I have to re-negotiate far too frequently for my taste.

So many people I thought I would see just one more time again.

leave the light on for me, I just have a couple of things to finish up here…..