Daptones, Hannah Arendt and learning to read in different languages

Much has transpired and nothing since I last blogged. The earth is still turning, moon cycles wax and wan, people are being born and people are dying. Birds have been falling out of the sky, and bushes burning and as they have since Moses and before, they are being explained away as natural phenomena by some and interpreted as God by others. I have not gained or lost anything appreciably significant; still work as a nurse, still a Mom to men, still have friends, and still have those who find the discussion of all that is wrong with me incredibly entertaining. I still owe more than I make and yet have so much material abundance it would boggle me if I had been told even 25 years ago I would have this much in my lifetime. So nothing has changed, and everything. I feel like the little baby "thing" I dreamed of last night that I almost killed before deciding it was a recently hatched turtle and setting into water where it began to recover and swim. I dreamed the birth of the turtle who held the world on his back.

So while nothing and everything has been changing around and inside me, I have not blogged. I have been journaling in the interim, on paper, in private because counter to current cultural trends I believe somethings are better dealt with privately. Although Ego and its no-holds-barred, Look-at-me, look-at-me Western Cultural worship and re-inforcement would have me believe that privacy and silence are counterproductive to growth and happiness, I find the opposite to be true. Some realities are best dealt with silently and in private.  Nurturing what good would grow within us, the seeds of true greatness in their tiny shoot infancy, require shelter and softly spoken words and limited traffic. Also, there are parts of every life that are just better dealt with unannounced,  sequestered. As a nurse and as a human I know the power of isolation. Secrets have there place in daily life.

I close the door to my bathroom when it is in use, use deodorant and launder stains out of clothing, and keep displays of affection between myself and my lovers between them and I. I privatize large portions of who I am, not because I believe any facet of me is inherently shameful. All facts of existence are equally necessary for balance. A cloistered life is as much about keeping things in as it is about keeping things out of the walled and secret places. My invisibility and silence is a greenhouse for my soul.

Today, however is a Daptone day, an out loud flowering, getting my Soul on, hanging with people and singing what I gotta say at the top of my lungs day. I am currently blogging to "Daptone Gold" (from Hoodlum’s, of course). Daptone Records, a post-modern Brooklyn haven of horn blowing toe-tapping and riffing, or more specifically the music they produce is the reason I need (not just want) a great stereo system with a turntable. I am listening to a CD of music that is meant to be heard as an LP or a 45. I need a record player for the same reason I once needed to learn french for Hugo.

My  postmodern period started in fourth grade when I read translations of Les Miserable and the Hunchback of Notre Dame.  Hugo’s wretched ones redeemed me, hitting me upside my self-absorbed child’s head with philosophical sticks of grace and justice and while I preferred the Hugo opera’s happy ending (later used by Disney for their movie version) I knew love to be more like the betrayal and dust of the book’s Quasimodo. I could not get enough of Victor Hugo and his work. I read and reread them, excavating between the lines, believing somehow the works I was enthralled with were meant to be more than I found in the translations.  Perhaps it was the words themselves, so I vowed to read the words as Victor wrote them.

So five years later when I finally read them in their French original, my obsessive pursuit of their flavor was satisfied by an experience that was as transformative as I had expected, but not for the reasons I expected. I thought I would learn more of Hugo’s seminal meaning by learning his language, instead I experienced in much fewer syllables what Jacque Derrida was simultaneously verbosely describing in the academic world as "seeing through the metaphysics of presence".  I read what Hugo said, as he first said it and knew the words had beauty and worth and also knew for certain I could never really grasp what Hugo meant because I was not Hugo, that meaning and shared experience is more than words.

And with that insight I left my childhood and my brief brush with postmodernism behind before I had even heard of Hannah Arendt or Foucalt, let alone read them. 

There are a few words and a few lessons I regret in my life. I have never regretted learning French, nor have I ever regretted keeping silent.

 But today is an out loud day. Today is a Daptone soul singing day and I now want a record player for the same reason I once was driven to learn French. I want a record player because Victor Hugo transformed me not just by his words but because my desire to read his own words as he spoke them taught me that All things, all things, have their own language.

Hugo spoke French. The Daptones speak turntable. Enlightenment usually speaks with silence.

Parables, and koans, and yes, sometimes blogs are just attempts to translate a  transformational experience into everyday language. I am not at all who I was yesterday, and a stranger to myself a month ago and I cannot, cannot tell you how that is as I stumble over this new language.

I am not a virtual-life loving post modernist even now in my silver digital age but still (as in my minimalist and radical adolescence) a devotee of Hannah Arendt and so will dance a bit today and play and perhaps blog,

Then return again tonite behind my cloister walls to grow a bit I hope and to listen and delight in the quiet.

" Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight. " Hannah Arendt

Happy 2011

 OK, so exactly what the concept of beginnings or endings or time or anything means is beyond me tonite (or most nights for that matter) but if the world as we knew it ended in three hours and 48 minutes, how long would it take us to notice?  And when the end of the world comes is it going to be midnight on Greenwich Mean Time? Eastern Standard Time? Does Apocalyptic Prophecy recognize Daylight Savings Time or is it more devilish and Arizonian in nature….just some of my thoughts as I drift off to bed on this December 31, 2010. That and if it is going to end could it be before my alarm clock goes off so I could sleep in tomorrow?

Happy New Year!!!!

Mini Post

 Finally watching George Bailey dream big but live well instead. This and Wizard of Oz are my favorite all time movies.  I always watch it Christmas Eve but due to work schedules it has been delayed. 

One day off and then three more days of work before getting two days off together. 

I am grateful to be gainfully employed and also happy to finally watch my annual  viewing of one of my three favorite angels, George Bailey and the truly horrible Mr. Potter!

Writer’s Block: Expand on this


The line between absorbing fun and addiction is integrity. There are three ways to tell if something is a recreational choice/ habit or if it has become an addiction.

The first is: Are you telling any lies especially to those you love about where, when, how much, how often you participate in this recreation? If not, no matter what the answers, probably not an addiction. Likewise, no matter how minimal the time spent, if you are lying about this activity then the behavior pattern is addictive.

The second is: Have you missed work, school or important family activities to do this activity? Are you frequently late or unprepared at work, school or home do to prolonging your participation in this activity?" If  the answer is yes then the behavior is addictive and warping your priorities.

The third is: Are you taking long term risks with your health to continue this activity even after becoming aware that your health and performance is suffering? In gaming this could mean frequent all-nighters, pounding "monster" drinks to stay awake all night then driving a motor vehicle for instance…

If one of these is yes. Try just taking a break from the activity and see if you can. If you can’t then yes, it is an addiction and time to cold turkey it till you can just approach it as a game.

If two of these are yes, put the game controller down now or step away from the computer. Get in touch with what you are running away from and get a life again, then maybe you can play again.

If three of these are yes. Get help.

I love this time of year when all my favorite celebrities share their favorite holiday gifts. Unfortunately for me whenever I peruse one of these high profile lists I get sticker shock. Honestly often just one item will be more than my entire holiday budget. So every year I make a list of my own. Be forewarned I am a little bit on the frugal side but that doesn’t mean I don’t spend a lot of time picking the best of the best for friends and family, just not a lot of money. Things I value most are happiness, music and well written words, so if you have anyone on your gift list who likes to laugh or listen to great music or enjoy the well turned phrase, here are my picks for this Christmas. Five are for those who want to buy and have someone else do the work and five require you purchase the supplies and do the work yourself. All ten say the gift giver is one thoughtful and quirky person and can quite likely win this years "Best Gift Ever" contest.

1. For the Funny one in your crowd or just the one on your list who never quite recovered from their tenure at Catholic School I highly recommend http://heynunnienunnie.com/  This little website offers the most hilarious $15 Christmas CD  I have ever listened to, ever, and the two ladies who produced it actually have a large enough vocabulary they can make you laugh without bleep-able  verbage!  And a perfect stocking stuffer is the $5 Get Out of Hell Free card; this is the kind of soul insurance everyone on your "naughty" list needs.

2.For the guitar player on your list I suggest any CD by Mel Brown, but i especially recommend "Chicken Fat". I was reintroduced to him recently by the gurus of sound at Hoodlums music. Not only do I recommend you pick up the CD I totally recommend you buy it local. If you live in the Tempe/Phx area I recommend Hoodlums on the SW corner of Mclintock and Guadalupe. If you are one of my many friends who live elsewhere, then have your own local harmony hookup bring it on, and may I say, buy one for yourself. It is always in my Ipods "most Played" list.

3. For the musician or music lover who lives in the greater Phoenix area I cannot recommend highly enough the gift of tickets to the Musical Instrument Museum or MIM. I was taken for my birthday this year and cannot wait to go again. Regular adult admission is $15 and tickets can be purchased on line, although if you are already in Scottsdale pick up the tickets in person and check out their gift shop in which plenty of lovely and unique low cost items also abound. Here is the link for admission tickets  https://tickets.themim.org/show.asp

4. For  Something unique to put a giftcard or sweet sentiment in, or if you just want to turn over a new leaf; try this etsy site for imaginative paper boxes and "clean/dirty" leaves. http://www.etsy.com/shop/branwen71. The ceramic leaves can be used as dishwasher magnets or magneted to a lapel can set the tone of the humor at your next holiday party.

5. And my top book recommendation for gift giving is as always a children’s picture book, well like the "Giving Tree" is a children’s book. They even still have signed copies at Changing Hands, also in Tempe. Located conveniently close to Hoodlums music. Check out this review of this witty bit of lit.  http://www.motherreader.com/2010/08/its-book-jackass.html.

Also some other authors websites to check out for can’t lose autographed books that come in full adult novel sizes try:
http://www.chrismoore.com/
http://www.heretherebedragons.net/
http://ginikoch.com/

And my top 5 DIY Christmas projects this year are where you buy the supplies but supply the love and construction time are

1. http://web.me.com/chrismcveigh/mintinbox/home/Entries/2010/11/29_Lego_Death_Star_Ornament.htm

2. http://www.knitting-and.com/knitting/patterns/drwho/drwhoscarves.htm
3.http://www.knittingonthenet.com/patterns/hatfelticesplash.html  Only don’t use the novelty yarn like they do, just make and shape the hatr from their pattern  and then attach a lovely dollar broach or silk flower on the Right side.

4. http://www.crochetme.com/media/p/90002.aspx

5. http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Homemade-Book and add your own poetry, pictures or comics

And that is my favorite things under 20$ this year.

Writer’s Block: A charming defense


My patronus  is the crow (not Raven, Crow), although Coyote’s and Bears are my frequent teachers and protectors as well.What is ironic is that these are my animal protectors from an Italian/European Strega background (Wild Yellow Dog was how I knew Coyote growing up) and now I live in the southwest where they play the same roles in the stories. The crow is wise, playful and very loyal. One cannot know crows well without admiring and befriending the species, like many (including humuns) whose jobs are in clean-up Corvids are unfortunately not popular in modern society except for the angst/horror image of  ‘Poe’ish Ravens.

Why I have been silent…..though maybe Just being wise…

 There was an old owl lived in an oak
The more he heard, the less he spoke;
The less he spoke, the more he heard
O, if  we were all like that wise old bird!

What time for writing I have had has been spent on my dystopian fantasy/sci-fi mash-up novel for this years nanowrimo. 

This message is In case anyone is missing my rambling blogs and thinks maybe it is my usual unhappy silence. Its not. I am happy.

Really.

Happiness was visiting my favorite local places yesterday. Yup. I swung into Hoodlums to pick up some mood changing music and Changing Hands where I scored a classic for under 5$  yesterday. Even the air there is somehow sweet with independence….

OK back to writing.

And in case you don’t know who Hoodlum’s Music is yet…go read my October 31 entry. Or better yet, head to the SW corner of Guadalupe and Mclintock in Tempe.  Do yourself a favor and start at Changing Hands. I like to browse the classics and the sci-fi sections but this week I recommend you visit Fiction and pick up a copy of the latest novel by Jasper Fforde.  After purchasing it,  read the first couple chapters over a bowl of tasty autumn soup at Wildflower Bread Company. Now with body warmed and mind stimulated mosey south past the Pub to Hoodlum’s for a little euphonius sustenence for the soul. If you don’t leave there with at least two new CD’s, then you are either deaf or broke.

Now really back to my nanovel….

Writer’s Block: A real eye opener


That is a very tough question. Many ideas come to mind from the obvious like Homer or Plato or the Tao Te Ching and then circled to the usual suspects like  Emerson or Thoreau and then sallied to classical but fun writers like Dickens, Hugo, Bronte, and Twain then I think of  current authors whose genius will resonate past their deaths and books have reached  Italo Calvino, the author of If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller, description of a classic: ‘A classic is a book that has never finished saying what it has to say’. These are authors like Barbara Kingsolver, like Toni Morrison, and A.S.  Byatt and Ian McEwan and then took a sharp turn into the books I can never forever put down and also meet Calvino’s description of a classic like C.S. Lewis, JRR Tolkien, James Owen’, Charles de Lint’s Newford books, Stephan Kings Gunslinger series and JK Rowling. The I finally settled on a young readers chapter book called "Wrinkle In Time." by Madeliene L’Engle. 

Cause if you can’t pick a "best", pick a "first". This little book has it all including the infamous first line "It was a dark and stormy night…"

Schrodinger's cat lives, magic is science, and compassion and integrity are the only necessary ingredients for happiness.