Hopefully the handful of people who actually read my blog realize yesterday was a joking riff on “The Jerk”. I can’t get that scene out of my head. What was funny then, has sudden meaning as I plod through the mud of this life cycle. I really am short of time, and truly in need of a mere 1500-2000$ to keep roof over my head and rubber on the road, what with medical co-pays, the move and a few shorter than expected weeks due to medical tests, a birth, etc.
But that is not what I was riffing on, it was the fact that in “the moment” – when I was waiting to hear if the new hemo-dyscrasia and growths were cancer, when Dawn and Archer’s lives were in danger, even as the sale of the San Tan house teetered (before again falling through)- each time I talked and meditated so fiercely thinking this, just this is what I need- to live long enough to graduate my current patient, to see Dawn watch Archer take his first steps, to be in a new home without alienating my son and wife- just this.
And then another challenge would present itself and I would say and this…..
I am aghast at my own neediness.
and a little amused.
Yup, universe all I need is this paddle game……