As life brings me to another personal midwinter, and i struggle to find the faith and joy that this merry season is known for regardless of your pantheon or holiday nomencalture, i ponder the irony of what we need most is usually the hardest for us to begin.
And all growth comes with a little discomfort.
At my heaviest, even walking made me short of breath, now I again feel the joy of running that I felt as a child, still only short distances, but that improves each time I push to the edge of my comfort zone.
I have been avoiding meditation and writing because the cumulative pain of this years losses and a growing awareness of new ways i need to change means i find my time at the altar less peace, more tears and squirm and my writing is mostly the spiritual debriding of wounds both old and new.
And don’t get me started about the news or the economy these days because I find the hope hard to come by..
Thankfully there are many little candles around me, friends, family, my Marley like dogs, books, music and little opportunities each day to perform small deeds of kindness. The light will come back on, faith or no faith in its progress the seasons will change, the days grow long and sunny, faith just helps us light a candle while we wait.
I am searching my pockets right now for a match….I know I stowed one away for just this kind of time.
2 thoughts on “May light find us in the darkness…”
I know it’s hard to find reasons to try when the darkness is so viscid. But, just look around. So much good is happening! Hugs. Gifts. Generosity. Kisses. Flowers. Sunlight. Money in the bank, eve a little. Trees. Song. Laughter. Music. Christmas lights. Friendship. Smiles. All tiny little notes, yes. But add them up and they are a symphony of powerful joy and healing. Because I can do little to vanquish the darkness, the Light is where I choose to focus my attention.
Funny how just by opening my eyes to compassion these days the dark is vanquished for whole hours. And you my dear friend are a eternal flame for those times I misplaced my match.
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