Some nitty gritty details, may be better to read this later, read now only if you are dying to ask me questions.
Some questions are put to me with honest concern, and those I have appreciated. Thinking of you Pat and Sara, I also have appreciated reminders of important things I might forget. Mostly because they were done truly out of love and concern for me. Stress adds to my already sketchy memory, and certain questions do need answers.Even though I don’t resent them, answering them over and over keeps me focused on the worst possible outcome. What we feed, grows stronger.
I am a dandelion, I am the old guy from The Milagro Beanfield Wars, I am hard to get rid of, I just come back.
So, to prevent having to answer them again,
Yes, I have filed for disability
Yes, I have a will.
Yes, I have a Directive and Power of Attorney on file at the VA.
And yes, I do trust Rick, my son who holds that power, to respect my final wishes. We may not be as close as I would like, but I trust and love all my sons and know they love me. I want to be alert as long as possible, but if I am no longer alert, I want no interventions except oxygen, and control of pain and anxiety, and they know that. However, don’t get in their grill if they make decisions you don’t like. If we get to the point where I am not making my own decisions, my sons are about to lose their Mom, and they have to live with that for the rest of their lives so love them the way I love, openly and unjudgemental.
When I am dead:
No, I really do not want a funeral. But if someone needs one for their own closure, they can host a get together of friends they know and have a memorial party with music, boardgames and beverages; or they can go to Disneyland and ride through “Its a Small World” singing all the way, or volunteer somewhere.
Just remember the whole me and laugh some. I do want to be cremated as cheaply as possible, as a Veteran there is money to cover that, the I hope as I go back to work here shortly to not only pay off my debts but get this detail payed as well.
And maybe, if you can, a tree planted down south.
But most importantly, Be Excellent To Each Other!