But where can you go, to leave yourself behind…..

Ok, obscure U2 reference actually related to how surrounded by love I feel juxtaposed against how badly I just want to run away from my life. From politics to personal, it is the best of times and the worst of times. So, of course, I decided to watch the Doctor Who (Hartnell) story thread “Reign of Terror” because I thought at least there I know how it ends.

The song I quoted at the beginning is “Redlight” and one of my favorites, also love “Song for Someone”because there IS a light that I won’t let go out.  These songs were my first two “pulls” in a musical augury, the cover and the cross. They make sense.

Deep past was “Kiss My Country Ass,” took me a bit to realize this was symbolic of my like me or leave me alone attitude that has always been my weakness and strength. Recent past is “Oooh Child” which is important both from the soundtrack it is off (Guardians of the Galaxy) and its message of someday, things will get brighter, just not today.

My possible future is “C’est Toi Le Plus Fort” by Edith Piaf, immediate future is “Spy” by Shakira. Ummm, yeah, both are truly about a woman letting a guy be kind of a jerk and still loving them. But I think they are about my current quest to care for those who are harder to love, my practice of Boddhichita, and my work that always takes more than I have to give and leaves me soul tired, until that one moment when a baby does something thought impossible by its doctors.

To add to that reading of those songs is my self song which is the lullaby by Tanya Goodman, “I L.O.V.E Y.O.U.”

Others goes out to my sister, “Feed the Birds” is both a great theme to how a treat all life and a song I will always associate with Diane. I can see her singing it to herself on her bed in the purple bedroom while we play paper dolls. It is also a song about listening to and seeing  little things we miss, my word for the year is “attentive.”

Then comes hopes and dreams and what pops up but “All Night Sleeping Song to Help You Relax” from the zen music garden. Sleeping is both my hope and my fear, my blessing and curse. I take my top plate out at night so I don’t crack it and I have bitten my gum line ragged and bloody. However hard it is to go to sleep and stay asleep, getting out of the bed in the morning is just as hard.

Final Outcome is Johnny Cash’s “Flesh and Blood.”  I hear two messages here. One is pretty basic, I still need people, the other is that love is our only true legacy.

Musical augury is simple. I ask the universe what I need to know, then I turn on my kindle or Ipod, bring up songs and hit random play. Then I use the songs in the order of cards placed in a Celtic cross spread to listen. Try it, and really listen. Actually anything can work, if one is willing to look and to listen.

I actually did this reading/listening because as soon as I sat down to write my thoughts scattered like children on housecleaning day.

It was a hard day. Not for any new particular reason but because waiting always gets harder the longer we do it, and because friday is creeping closer, and then Feb 1 and I don’t yet have my ducks all lined up with my answers on their bills, in fact my pond looks pretty empty right now.

On the other hand,

I got out of bed all on my own, showered, dressed myself, brushed my teeth, made myself coffee and breakfast, knitted, walked, talked on a cell phone…….so far the level of my gratitude is far above my level of fear or want. I am one lucky little old lady.

BTW, thanks for the PM feedback, but is there a reason no one comments? I only ask because I am not that savvy and wonder if I made a mistake building the site.

Anyway, thanks again for the love and support y’all.  Time to say Good-Night.

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