So sipping some coffee I may or may not get to add to my long term caffeination while listening to Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong perform the most sublime Porgy and Bess. Someday I will have an awesome pair of headphones to put on and lay on the floor and listen to this 2 disc classic LP set, but my turntable is blissing me out just fine right now.
My bodies clean up crew is apparently having some kind of competition, not unexpected, but this is the part of the process that is always the hardest, whether illness or accident or death of someone I love. The crisis is over and re-actions are complete, in this case the last treatment available done, and follow-up scans and blood work taken, but the real work is just starting.
Now comes recovery and learning what the new reality will be and shifting myself to fit that reality in a constructive way. Everyone has challenges. Even good things like the birth of a perfectly healthy new baby, accepting a new better paying job, or the completion of a long time creative venture have this piece of limbo – the summer of the cycle, where everything holds its breath waiting to see how the wheel will turn. Nothing is familiar and there are no more familiar rhythms leading you to the next note or word. Forging forward is tiring when I cut a new path, whether the journey is a chosen happy one or a necessary rough one, for some reason this is the part of the journey where I am most likely to implode emotionally. (I am great in a crisis, its later I need two baskets to carry me cuz one won’t even due.)
My body got that memo and seems to be trying to expedite the process.
Knowing how hard this part is for me, I made myself a brief social commitment for the afternoon, and agreed to give someone a ride so I couldn’t cancel. And because of really special reasoning that very possibly only Miss Laurie might understand (cuz MY Doctor is brilliant and well informed but NOT in any way attractive or personable!), the social engagement I picked today is a Sci-Fi Singles Meet and Greet.
Hey, if anyone asks me on a date today, they are definitely worth saying yes to, LOL. I look awful, I can’t shave cuz I might nick myself and bleed everywhere, I can’t get rid of my nice Italian facial hair (sparse mind you, but that doesn’t actually make it look more attractive, pubescent boy beard on an old lady is just not sexy!) because well, the chemicals; aand my hair is coming in greyer this time and making my adorable cut have a mind all its own. Hee hee hee. I am at my worst appearance wise and totally bringing mints cuz sure my breath is well, chemo special. But i am going. And dammit, I AM having fun!
And I am wearing my T-shirt. It says “Being a person has become too complicated, time to be a unicorn.”
Cuz, my own private joke and truth today, and well, my nose, think Despicable Me’s Gru.
I will be back later and report on my new friends and any Prince’s I meet.
For now, just thanks for all the love and support.
And Hey, still looking for links in the comments section to other Blogs, good deed doing, or other like minded people and places.
And Porgy, I is your woman now……..
If you can get this vinyl, do it! If not and you live nearby come on over sometime and I will share!